Almost Grown Up

I think K was supposed to be a rebound. I was just out of a serious relationship. I was also drunk, which is my preferred method for getting over a relationship. Some people cry, some people eat, I drink. Beer and whiskey. To each their own.

So there I was, a week out of my relationship with B. At an end of the semester party at one of my favorite bars, chatting with K (the cousin of a friend from school). I was drunk, she was cute, suddenly we were making out. In a bar. I’m pretty much pure class.

The beginning was pretty much like that night. A lot of drinking together, a lot of hookups, and suddenly we were exclusive and things were getting serious. I don’t know how it happened, but somehow we were suddenly spending the majority of our time together, meeting the respective families, and making plans for the future. For an accidental relationship, things were going swimmingly.

The first year was easy. We saw each other all the time, went to baseball games, had some great vacations. Generally things were easy.

The second year got tougher. I took a lot of classes that I didn’t know anything about, so I had to do some actual studying. This transitioned into bar exam studying. The bar sucked. So basically I locked myself in the library and studied, every night. Two months wouldn’t be too much, right?

We fought more that summer, but things were ok. We planned a two week vacation for after the exam which was great. Exactly what we needed. Things were back on track. I got a few interviews around the country.

This is where things got complicated. And by complicated I of course mean horribly bad. I’m a reservist, and it was that magical time of year where I do my two weeks of training. I set interviews up so I would fly from base directly to the first round, and then spend the next few weeks bouncing around. All told, I was going to be gone for 4 weeks.

I wasn’t worried at all. Things were great, and having a good job was certainly going to be an added plus. We had a big talk the night before I left, and decided to start looking for engagement rings when I got home. All was well in the world.

The first week apart was pretty easy. The second week K was moody and quiet. The third week she was just nasty. I had absolutely no idea what was going on, which isn’t necessarily a new experience, but still uncomfortable. By the fourth week I had gotten the “we need to talk when you get home.” Fan-tastic.

Needless to say, I arrived home a little less than excited. We were supposed to be shopping for engagement rings. Instead I got a story. About how K ran into her deadbeat ex at a party. The one she dumped because he had no ambition and a healthy fear of commitment. They got to talking, and drinking, and sleeping together. For three weeks. Now they were getting back together. When could I move my stuff out?

So there’s that story. And two months later? Feeling better, but that still sucks.

I’ve always felt sort of lackadaisical about resolutions. Everyone always seems to set them, and then ask everyone else about theres. I always manage to mumble a few meaningless generalities but I never really mean it. Change sort of comes when it comes, if I need to switch something up the New Year certainly isn’t going to be the impetus that makes me do it.

This year I feel even less motivated to pretend to have resolutions. The whole holiday season has seemed much more stressful and less exciting than in years past. Maybe this is another of those annoying byproducts of aging. Last year I was still in school and the holidays were kind of the release from a stressful semester. The end of exams, several parties, and a nice vacation normally got me pretty excited. This year Christmas almost snuck up on me, and neither I nor any of my friends have set any New Years plans. Maybe we’re getting older? Jobs that we have to be at between Christmas and New Years, combined with all the stresses that come with getting older (is it possible for any more of my friends to get engaged or have kids this year? are there any left?) seem to suck some of the fun out of the holiday season.

Maybe it’s just an off year. Maybe this is nothing that can’t be solved with a good old drunken New Years Eve.

I hope so.

Things that make me smile:

A Charlie Brown Christmas
Christmas lights
Old Rat Pack Songs
Westerns
The Patriots going 16-0
Snowstorms
Single malts
My new Amy Winehouse CD
My new car (How adult is that? I vote for “very adult”)
Reading
Running
My puppy
Learning to cook

I don’t know why I decided to write this, quite honestly. I’ve always enjoyed reading blogs, but actually writing one was never really on the list of things to do.

Now? Well I’m in a transitional stage of sorts. I recently became a lawyer which means a new job in Virginia, a place I’ve never lived. Heck, I’ve never lived near Virginia. After a decade of the big city life, I’m not so sure how this is going to work out. Maybe I should be seeing other geographic areas, just in case things don’t work out.

What else? Well, I’m also single following a surprising breakup I’m sure I’ll delve into later. It takes some real skill to go from happy/almost engaged to broken up in less than a month, fortunately I am highly skilled. Or should that be ‘unfortunately’?

Maybe writing this is some sort of cathartic exercise which will lead to personal growth (The opinion of a close friend who is also, unfortunately, going to school to become a shrink. Honestly, this “personal growth” nonsense seems to imply that I’m not already perfect). If I were to venture a guess I’d say that I laid very careful plans for my arrival into the real world, only to find that they’ve fallen through and I’m not where I thought I’d be. I suppose at the least that this blog will be useful in chronicling my adventures trying to be a functional adult member of society. We’ll see how it goes.